choices

Some people think I am selfish... That I've made a bad decision and I'm a bad person for making that decision. Well here's how I feel about it... There is no way a selfish or bad person would choose to be the sole care-taker of 4 kids, to be the only adult responsible for these girls 24/7. Even when they are not with me I am making sure they get ready on time and get where they need to go. I make sure they have everything they need, clothes, shower, homework, etc.... I make sure they get to school everyday, their activities every night and that their social life is not hampered by this change in their life. In the midst of all of that I have to maintain a strong front. I can't show the world how hard it is, how overwhelmed I am to be the only adult in the house... I'm used to being the main decision maker and care provider, but not the ONLY one. So to those who may think me selfish, I made this decision purely out of love for my girls and the desire for their lives to be better. I know that it is the right decision because even with all of the added stress, my girls are happier and so am I.

Series Finale

I know that some of you who follow me are personal friends, and what you are about to read is possibly going to be a surprise, but please refrain from discussing it in public forums or with other people for now. I have recently had an awakening of sorts, and the only way to describe it is to liken it to something we all can relate to... TV.



So I've been watching the same TV show for over 15 years. It's a great show, funny, sad, happy, full of ups & downs, good times & bad. There's just a few things I don't really like about it. I can't wrap my head around them, so I decide to let the network know. I call, I write, I text, I snail mail. They try to adjust the script, but the plot always heads back to the same storyline, and I don't like it at all. So I tell them some more how much I hate the direction it's headed in. In fact, I threaten to stop watching the show. For two years I watch, waiting, hoping, praying to see the changes I asked for. Then I realize, I'm not the producer of this show...They don't have to listen to me or do what I ask, even if I have been a loyal fan for so long. So I try to push past it. Suck it up. Get over it. Accept the show for what it is. After all, they have their reasons, right? But then it becomes like waiting to see a train wreck. I don't want to watch as it comes crashing to an end, but I can't pull my self away. I become consumed with it, so now it's keeping me awake at night. The stress of waiting for the show to get better and stay better invades my thoughts till my mind won't shut off. Then during the day I'm drained, exhausted, falling asleep at the wheel of my life, while my kids are riding in the backseat. Not good~so I take some medicine to stay awake. Then I take some to fall asleep at night. I have no energy. My every breath, thought, cell in my body is consumed with thoughts of what to do. Cuz now, even with the medicine, I can't tolerate the show. I watch re-runs, and the best episodes are no longer strong enough to overpower the worst ones. I don't have any more time to waste waiting for the network to prove the show will eventually head in the right direction. The only thing I can think of is to stop watching it. But still, I can't give it up. I DVR it so I only watch it when it's convenient for me. Still not working. And when I tell the network I'm not watching another episode, they just don't understand! They make promises... We'll fix it! Please don't stop watching! Don't change the channel! We can do better! Remember all the good episodes? Watch them again, please find a reason to give us another chance! Guess there's only one thing left to do. Time to change the channel. Time to cancel the show. Time to start my own network. If you'd like to submit an idea for a pilot, I'll read the script, but I do NOT have to option the show.

My diet is quite full of Crow this week...

Back in February, Jeff discovered something amazing (to him). He has been fascinated with Tallships for a while *Thank you Master and Commander* and has been tracking the HMS Bounty for about 2 years. He saw that the ship was docking in Cleveland, OH for a Tallship Festival. Then he saw it was docking in Bay City, MI for a festival as well. We discussed the possibility of a family road trip with the girls to see the ship. That would be fun, I've never seen a tallship in person. But wait... there's more... the ship was BOOKING PASSAGE from Cleveland to Bay City. What? Passage? Is that even possible? You go, I'll stay home with the girls. No really, I'll be okay at home. You can go without me, I promise I won't be upset... None of this worked. He wasn't going without me, so being the good wife that I try to be, I agreed to go. For months I joked that someone could have my ticket (and hurt his feelings everytime I said it). I made arrangements for the girls to stay with my brother. He made arrangements for someone to house sit our pets. We packed the girls, we packed ourselves, and got on a Greyhound headed for Cleveland. We arrived around 2:30pm and taxied from the station to Brown's Stadium, behind which are Municipal Ports 28 & 30.

There were soooo many people at the festival, it was unbelievable. The line for the Bounty alone was 2 hours long. However, we had credentials! We were able to board immediately and stow our luggage while the ship continued it's public tours. After 5:45 we were invited back on board and accompanied the crew to a party at Edgewater Yacht Club (via ferry boat).

We spent Sunday night trying to sleep aboard the ship, but our excitement and the heat made sleep seem impossible. Monday morning we sailed out of port. It was awesome to see the crew in full sail action, hauling on this brace, making lines fast, easing on the main course... All new terminology, all so confusing, all so interesting. We were joined on the ship by 7 other paying passengers, 2 volunteer crew and around 20 other crew members. The cook, Ashley, was very creative and her food was really good. I learned that I would eat without being picky if someone was cooking 3 meals a day for me (sorry Mom... wish I would have learned that YEARS ago). We sailed for a short time when we left Cleveland, but the winds weren't favorable so we had to motor instead. We traveled through Lake Erie all day Monday and into the night. We anchored for a while, then headed for the mouth of the Detroit River. How exciting it was to see Fermi II, Pt. Mouilee, Grosse Ile, Wyandotte Hospital, The Ambassador Bridge, The Rennaisance Center and many other points of interest as we motored up the River.

Then on to St. Clair, passing Algonac and heading to Lake Huron. I had not ever seen the Blue Water Bridge connecting Port Huron, MI to Canada. We motored right under it. We continued into Lake Huron, where we were able to sail for a while, "playing with the ship" as the crew called it. Again with the terminology and I was so into it. Where do I go, what line do I grab? Am I hauling or easing? Make it fast? Coil it down? Aye! On our watch (4am-8am and 4pm-8pm) we were shadowing the crew. From boat checks to forward watch to manning the helm or climbing the rigging, we got to try it all (I didn't climb, though I do wish I had).

These people never stop working!

The am watch was incredible. (I didn't get up for it the first morning, but the second one made me wish I had). I've never seen so many stars in my life and I only wish there was a way to photograph them, but for safety's sake, no white lights on deck at night when the boat is motoring. The sun rising over Lake Huron was beautiful, shortly after we had passed Harbor Beach, MI (hi Lynn's family!). One of the most exciting sights for me was the town of Pt. Austin, at the tip of the thumb. As a child I spent many summer weeks there with my grandparents. It was so cool to see it from the water and spot landmarks like the water tower and breakwall. Once we rounded the thumb we "hove to", positioning the sails in such a way that we didn't need to anchor, and the ship didn't move too much. We had a "swim call" and Jeff and I jumped into Lake Huron. The water was so beautiful and clear. I however, couldn't pull myself up the rope, so two wonderfully considerate sailors came down in the "little boat" to save me... and I cut my toe in the process... Once I got past the embarassment, all was well and we went to sleep for our last night aboard. The next morning we motored into the Saginaw River towards Bay City. One of our passage-mates was a well known business man from Bay City and he was welcomed home with a HUGE reception. Seeing the crowds waiting for the Parade of Ships was so cool. We motored into port, docked behind the Europa and were welcomed by the "Tahitians".

We quickly grabbed our gear and left the ship, as they had much to do to ready for the Coast Guard inspections before people could tour the ship. We met my brother at the Steinhaus bar/Atrium Restaurant for drinks and a late lunch. 4 of our other passage-mates joined us. We met a crew of entertainers from Norway, and they were so impressed to hear Jeff's family came over from Norway in 1920 they took pictures with him and gave him a pin to commemorate his heritage. Then we drove home.... the entire 2 hours.... in a HORRIBLE storm. I was very thankful the storm didn't hit while we were sailing, I don't think I could have handled that. We got to my brother's safely and the girls were so excited to see us. After a quick dinner we headed home. On Friday, I was suffering from such a bad case of withdrawl from the ship we decided to take the girls back to Bay City so they could see the ship themselves. Saturday morning we drove the 2 hours back to the Tallship Festival. We got right back on board (Thanks John!) and were welcomed back by the crew. They were excited to meet our girls, especially after having heard countless stories about them all week (sorry guys...).

We had a great day walking around the festival and downtown Bay City, visiting the Steinhaus and the Bay City Antique Center. Wish we could have seen our passagemates again, but I'm sure they were all very busy with their families. Around 730pm we got back on the road and made the entire 2 hour trip back without stopping! With 4 girls in the car we can hardly go 15 miles without needing a bathroom, so it was pretty exciting. Thanks girls, for being so good while we were gone and especially while we were with you in Bay City. During a conversation with our First Mate I apologized to Jeff for giving him such a hard time about the trip. The First Mate told me "we vindicate husbands on every journey". Yep, he has been vindicated! And I am pretty full of crow... Can't wait to board the Bounty again!

My littlest Drama Queen has been telling everyone for 2 years that she is going to marry Iron Man when she grows up. She loves "every part of him". Imagine the look on her face when she got to meet him this past weekend. Amazing... Ranks right up there with #2 riding in the elevator with Cinderella at Disney World. Dreams can come true....

What a big scare...

Okay, so here is the WHOLE story... Anna went to the Dr. on the 19th of January because of ear pain. The next day, Wednesday, she was walking funny because her legs were "weak". She also had a fever, so she stayed home Wed and Thurs. Friday she woke up crying that her chest hurt, so back to the Dr. we went. At this point she has had 3 doses of Zithromax. "It's a virus" says the Dr. after he listens to her non-wheezing chest and tests her reflexes. She hangs tough through the weekend, weak, but trying to function normally. Monday she has a fever (still) and is walking even slower so she stays home again. Tuesday, after no changes, Jeff takes her to the Dr. for the 3rd time. They do a chest x-ray and draw blood and prescribe steroids. Her breathing gets better but her legs do not. I talked to the Dr. Friday morning (this was now her 9th day of no school) and he assured me that her test results were normal and it was just a virus. However, because she had no appetite, she was not taking in enough nutrients, and by Friday at 5:30ish she could not stand up or walk without being held onto. I was having a Miche Bag party, the consultant was on her way from Milan and I was expecting a dozen or so women at the house any time (while wearing my LOSER MOM OF THE YEAR HAT). At 6:30, Jeff took her to Wyandotte Hospital, carried her into the ER, where they immediately took her to the peds area and told Jeff she needed to be transferred to Children's Hospital. He calls me and I have to leave my party and all my guests... Cristy offers to spend the night with the two little ones and Ti drives me to Wyandotte. NOTE TO ALL PARENTS IN THE METRO DETROIT AREA: IF YOUR CHILD NEEDS AND EMERGENCY ROOM, TAKE THEM STRAIGHT DOWNTOWN TO CHILDREN'S. IT IS WORTH THE DRIVE AND THEY ARE FANTASTIC! Since she was not having trouble breathing, Jeff said no to the ambulance ride and we drove her down there. A fantastic staff member put Anna in a wheelchair, told Jeff where to park and took us inside. He got us out of the cold air, then found Jeff and they took her straight up to her bed. 3 doctors check her strength and reflexes, they start an IV and draw blood. At first, they thought she might have Guillen-Barre Syndrome and would need a spinal tap to diagnose it. So, no food or drink till we see the neurologist in the morning. After sleeping for while, she woke up at 7, stood up and walked to the bathroom WITH NO SUPPORT! This was after only 2 units of fluid from the IV bag, so they checked her strength and she could lift her legs much higher and push with her feet. NO GUILLEN-BARRE SYNDROME, NO SPINAL TAP! We saw two neurologists who had reviewed her blood work, the confirmed our Dr's diagnosis, a virus caused the fever which dehydrated her. They assured us she was fine, and by 2:30 pm we new we were being discharged and sent home. Somehow I managed to get some pics with my phone, first time I ever documented a hospital stay, and I think I'll do it again.


Feeling SO MUCH BETTER Gotta Love the TEDDY BEAR WAFFLE

for breakfast..

Daddy bought an Owl statue for her bedroom

This blanket was made by a volunteer and given to Anna by one of the nurses.

On the way out, we stopped to pet this beautiful Therapy Dog and take one last picture.

LET'S GO HOME!

I cannot believe it has been 4 months since I last posted.

We have done lots in that short amount of time.

Here we are at our favorite pumpkin patch. These are always the best pictures!

My oldest 2 blowing bubbles for their Uncle's wedding. The photographer was great!

Most recently, we visited the Lego Castle Exhibit, it's amazing what people can do with those little bricks.

what a week...

Seems like forever since I've been on here, but wow, it's been one of those weeks. I've been in a fog for weeks, anticipating Drama Queen's surgery, my sister's wedding, my brother's shower, toy sorting, summer cleaning, etc. So, here's how my last couple weeks have gone:

Thursday, June 25th: finished two cakes, one for my brother's shower,

one for my sister's wedding:

Then, off to my brother's shower, an hour away in a rain storm on a Thursday evening... But it was a beautiful shower:

Friday, June 26th, on the road at 9 am headed to St. Joseph Mi with my drama dames and a weekends worth of clothes. Arrived at noon to meet my sister's in-laws who were fantastic! Wedding at the Courthouse, short and sweet, dinner with 11 other people, simple and fun, then pics on Silver Beach in the sunset:

Home on Sunday, June 28th, time to clean the house in preparation for DQ's surgery,

Monday, June 29th, more cleaning, followed by a very sad phone call from a friend, her mother's cancer had come back and she was dying. Thank goodness Hubby was on the east side and able to stop by the hospital and say good-bye to her... Barb was a wonderful lady, she treated my daughters like they were her grandkids. She was DQ's first babysitter, the first time anyone ever watched any of our kids. We'll miss summer swims at her house and her beautiful smile.

Tuesday, June 30th, arrived at Children's Hospital at 9 am, surgery is scheduled for 10:45, wait in the waiting room until 12:30 to get called back. Surgery is done by 3:30. The 3 cm cyst in DQ's right lung turned out to be a kiwi sized lymph node!!! Of course, panic sets in as we wait for pathology results... Despite the unexpected size of the mass, DQ is out of the hospital in great spirits less than 24 hours later.

Wednesday, July 1st, home by 12:30, thanks to great friends who came to visit as we were getting discharged. Slept for a few hours...

Thursday, July 2nd, Barb passes away...

Friday, July 3rd and Saturday, July 4th, Hubby and I clean the house like it has never been cleaned before then have a bbq with more friends.

Sunday July 5th, exhaustion sets in, napped then took the kids to the park...

Monday July 6th, attended Barb's funeral where we reconnected with old friends and shed some tears. I'm ready to get off this roller coaster...